I usually tell people to trust their intuition. Nine times out of ten, if you are questioning a relationship, it’s worth exploring what the issue is and whether or not you should remain in the relationship.

Here are a few things to consider when you’re deciding if a relationship is worth saving or if you should make your exodus.

Just because you forgive someone, does NOT mean you’re obligated to stay in the relationship. If a friend, lover or even an employer has betrayed you or let you down in a major way, you have to learn to forgive but you can choose to remove yourself from the relationship. It doesn’t mean that your forgiveness isn’t genuine, it just means that you choose to NOT risk possible future betrayals. You know what they say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”

Recognize how you FEEL when you’re with the person. If you feel uneasy or that you have to walk on eggshells or that you have to constantly get approval from a friend, significant other or employer, ask yourself why. Try to pinpoint what you’re feeling and WHY you could be feeling this way. Think of specific examples of things that the person has said or done that cause you to feel this way. Sometimes, it’s us. Sometimes, it’s them. Either way, you owe it to yourself to get clarity.

Is this person a master manipulator? This is usually one of the more subtle qualities of a dysfunctional relationship and it’s often harder to put your finger on it. Usually, manipulative people, do things like:

• turn your words around to use them against you
• constantly blame “miscommunication” on things they’ve said that you called them on
• sometimes make you feel as though you’re confused or crazy
• they pout and give you the silent treatment if they don’t get their way

Emotional abuse is still ABUSE. I am astounded at the responses of people who encourage others to stay in a relationship if there is no physical abuse. People fail to realize that verbal and emotional abuse are also very damaging to the heart, mind, and soul. If you believe that, you are verbally or emotionally abused by a significant other, friend or employer, DO NOT TAKE IT LIGHTLY. Begin to separate yourself from the person or situation and understand that you don’t have to subject yourself to abuse from anyone. As cliché as it sounds, love yourself more than you love the relationship or situation. Don’t break your own heart by staying!

As a life coach, my number one hope is that everyone works on him or herself and becomes happy and healthy and whole as individuals first. My number two hope is that these same happy, healthy whole people have happy, healthy, whole relationships with other happy, healthy, whole people 🙂

Stay tuned for more info on “The Goodbye Guide” a journal that guides you from break up to breakthrough in relationships.

The post Relationship Spring Cleaning appeared first on Coach Von Simmons.

This is the time of year when everyone is jumping on the New Years resolution bandwagon. The Huffington Post rated the top 5 New Year’s resolutions are:

1. Save more, spend less
2. Spend more time with family & friends
3. Lose Weight
4. Live a healthier lifestyle
5. Enjoy life to the fullest (good old carpe diem)

Do any of these sound familiar? Ok … moment of truth … have you made any of these resolutions for multiple years? Trust and believe, you are not alone. Drinking 8 glasses of water a day was one of my resolutions for at least 4 or 5 years.

I want to challenge you to get rid of resolutions. Instead, start a REVOLUTION. By revolution, I mean make a radical commitment to do something that’s going to make the new year different than any of those other years where you’ve recycled your new year’s resolution.

Here’s a couple of ways to start your own New Year’s Revolution:

1. Find & focus on ONE revolutionary goal – Don’t overwhelm yourself with a long, laundry list & try to do EVERYTHING (gym every day, going vegan, save money, get a promotion, travel to 10 cities). Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself. When you have too many things you’re focused on, you lose momentum quickly because your attention is all over the place. Instead, laser focus onto ONE GOAL that you can realistically accomplish this year. There is nothing wrong with thinking big but focus on one, core objective for the year. Break it down into smaller baby steps if you need to but be sure to take action every single day.
2. Be honest with yourself: How badly do you want it? When you’re deciding what you want to accomplish this year, be sure to ask yourself if it’s a wish or a want. A wish is just a passing thought but a want is something you’re willing to execute. Personally, I wish that I could sing well….but the way my voice is set up “happy birthday” is the only thing you’ll ever hear me sing out loud. I am not willing to take voice lessons, do daily vocal exercises, learn to read music or anything else required to be a good singer. Therefore, this is just a wish for me, not a true, genuine want. Make sure that your goal is something that you really want, something you’re passionate about, something that scares you a little, something that is going to change the trajectory of your life.
3. Honor Your Promise To Yourself. Throughout this year, as you’re working towards your revolutionary goal, remember that this goal is a promise to yourself.

In the same way we make promises to everyone else, we have to permit ourselves to keep that promise. Promise yourself that this year will NOT be like the others with broken resolutions and regret and disappointment. Keeping your promises to yourself is part of self-care and if you don’t take care of yourself, who will? Make it non-negotiable! LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH to honor your promise to yourself.

Stay tuned next time for Part II of New Year’s Revolutions…

The post New Year’s Revolutions-Part One appeared first on Coach Von Simmons.

“All it takes to turn the fear factor around is learning to be comfortable in, instead of terrified of, the unknown. And this is done through faith”

“If you want to help the world and yourself, keep your frequency high and do your work with power and joy”

“The people you surround yourself with are excellent mirrors for who you are and how much, or how little, you love yourself”

“The things that bother us about other people bother us because they remind us of something we don’t like about ourselves. Or their behavior triggers a fear or insecurity that we have, but may not realize we have”

“If it’s something you want to do, don’t wait until you’re less busy or richer or ‘ready’ or 20 pounds lighter. Start right now you’ll never be this young again”

“Treat yourself like you’re the closest friend you’ve got. Celebrate the magnificent creature that you are. Don’t let anyone mess with you and your dreams, least of all yourself”

“The only failure is quitting. Everything else is just gathering information”

“Deciding is freedom. Indecision is torture”

“Money is energy like anything else and when you’re operating at a high frequency, with no resistance to it, and take right action you can manifest the money you desire”

“Your playing small simply withhold your gifts from the people who were meant to receive them, including you”

“In order to get some money, get very clear on what kind of life will make you truly happy. And be honest. What kind of experiences and possessions will support you in the work you want to do and then the kind of light you’d like to live?”

“Lame, vague goals are the best way to live a lame, vague life”
“When we want something so, so badly and are working tirelessly to get it, if we don’t surrender, we end up pushing it away instead”

“Doubt is resistance, faith is surrender. Worry is resistance, joy is surrender. Control is resistance, allowing is surrender. Ridicule is resistance, believing surrender”

“Surrendering is the free-falling backwards into the unknown and trusting that The Universe will catch you. And this can be done from a place of lack or place of miss trust”

“If you want to new life you say you want, you have to do the work instead of just studying and discussing and wishing and wanting”

“Getting some coaching or mentoring is perhaps the fastest and best thing you can do to make a massive change in the shortest amount of time”

“Love Yourself”

The post My Favorite Lessons from “You are a Bad Ass”-Part Two appeared first on Coach Von Simmons.