Let it Go: 3 Things To Keep In Mind About The Art of Non-Resistance

by | Apr 30, 2017 | Transition

When I first learned to swim, I was terrified of drowning. I approached my first swimming lesson at the YMCA as if I was going into battle. I was defensive, my heart was racing and I literally fought the water! As far as I was concerned, the water was my enemy!

I was so terrified that the instructor pulled me to the side. Instead of having me practice kicking or putting my head underwater with the rest of the class, he taught me how to make peace with the water by simply floating. As I began to relax and breathe and trust the water to uphold me, I learned to appreciate the grace and ease of the water. Maybe it wasn’t my enemy after all. Maybe it was my friend.

Our ego, part of our very human nature is to resist … to fight … to rebel. Subconsciously, we believe this makes us strong, respected, and powerful. But sometimes, we have to listen to our instinctive wisdom when it tells us to float. I am all for fighting the good fight but if a situation is out of your control, sometimes you just have to accept what is and learn to work within it, not against it. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

  1. Check you Ego. Have an honest conversation with yourself about WHY you are resisting. Is it because you don’t like the person/people involved and you refuse to give them the satisfaction of being right? Is it because the thing that you’re resisting scares the hell out of you? Or maybe it’s because you don’t want to look weak or submissive? Be real with yourself and decide what’s more important: a fully fed ego or peace of mind?
  2. Non-resistance is NOT about being a doormat. Non-resistance doesn’t mean that you stand by and allow people to walk all over you. On the contrary, spiritual leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela & Martin Luther King Jr. practiced non-resistance and still stood up for what they believed in without compromising their values. Michelle Obama’s quote, “When they go low, we go high” is a great example of non-resistance. Simply put, you don’t have to fight fire with fire. Try some water, instead 🙂
  3.  Let it Go. Decide whether whatever you’re fighting for is going to matter in a year. Will it matter in 5 years? If not, let it go. Life is too short to spend energy, force, and frustration on something that you simply cannot change. Mahatma Gandhi says, “ There is a force in the universe, which, if we permit it, will flow through us and produce miraculous results.”