Comedian Chris Rock once said that when you meet someone new, you’re not meeting them; you’re meeting their representative.
Of course, we always want to make a positive first impression and be the best version of ourselves as we can. But, there is a tremendous difference between being your best self and being someone TOTALLY different. After working in Human Resources for years and interviewing thousands of people, you’d be surprised how many people are completely different in everyday work life than how they presented themselves in the interview. I’ve had met several people who even went as far as to speak in a completely different voice in the interview.
I’m sure some of you can remember the first date with someone who was TOTALLY different by the time you got to the 5th date. Two reasons why the representative shows up are:
- We don’t know who we are or what our values are
- We are afraid to live our values
Values
What are your behaviors, feelings, words, thoughts, and beliefs? Do those things reflect your core values, the standards, and principles by which you live your life?
Some examples of values are spirituality, service, creativity, authenticity, freedom, finances, health and wellness.
What is your true north? What’s important to you? What drives you? What values do you keep in mind when making life decisions? As the adage goes, “if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything”. Don’t allow yourself to be swayed by social media, society or even a significant other if they are pulling you in a direction that’s contrary to your values.
Relationships: A True Reflection of Your Values
Sometimes we’re in a relationship and we discover that we really aren’t on the same page as our partner. Sometimes, its because our values are different. Perhaps, he likes to save money and you are a spender. Maybe you like to go to church together and he doesn’t. Maybe even, he likes for you to check in periodically and you want to feel free when you’re out and about. Those may seem like small things but over time, those differences have the potential to cause a divide or disconnect from our partners because they may show up in multiple areas of your relationship.
Realistically, it may be a challenge to meet someone who has 100% of the same values we have, but you must share the most important values.
Word to the wise, before you begin ANY relationship … romantic, professional … even friendships, take inventory of what your personal core values are. Don’t shrink from or compromise your core values, just because you meet someone with different values. As the quote goes, “Values are like fingerprints, nobody’s are the same, but you leave them all over everything you do”.
Stay tuned for more info on “The Goodbye Guide: A Journal To Guide You from Break Up to Break Through”
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